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Thursday, May 20, 2021

to keep goin'

The last 10 days of Ramadan are special, when most Muslims is struggling to get the Lailatul Qadr, a night which's better than 1000 months. On the last 10 days of Ramadan, I had to be isolated in a small room alone. I felt maybe this is the way Allah wanted me to be closer to Him, I may have lots of sin and He wanted to show how small I am as His most perfect creature. I planned, but Allah is the owner of decisions. Again, I had to stop from this fast-paced world for 2 weeks. Left my project postponed, orders canceled, and customer's chat unreplied.

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Hi, there!

Well, i'm back. Thankfully, fine and healthy.

The reality is that i survived. Everything was fine after the yesterday's storm-- storm in my own head yk. I kept on going until i had to face the real blast.

I decided to get up and promptly move on. I prepared myself for another project for Ramadan and Eid. It's a hampers edition from #PuspaBakingStory! I was really happy doing all of those things: scrolling to Pinterest again and again, searching the perfect tone, transforming ideas in my head into a design, and finding the right vendor! (the most important thing due to cost tho wqwq). But later, Karima, my cousin who's also the choux maker, and her family tested positive of Covid-19 at the end of March, 2 weeks away from Ramadan. I knew at first this project would be postponed, I decided to launch it later in the middle of the holy month, at the end of April. Because of that too, I was temporarily closing for an order due to the tracing process of Covid. Later my family and I were fine and I only accept a little amount of cinnamon rolls orders without officially opening pre-orders. I kept myself busy by joining some online courses also fixing the hampers concept.

Karima left the shelter about 5days before Ramadan. She needed a rest for a week so I did the photoshoot in the 2nd week of Ramadan when I was starting to have a mild cold. The photoshoot was done at the beginning of the week and immediately processing the photos. Everything was ready to launch! I remember I was going to post on the last day of April, it's Friday. But on that day I realized I had anosmia, I couldn't smell anything, even an essential oil smelled very light in front of my nose. I was in denial at first, do I get Covid? Because I was so fine except for this nose. I had no fever nor cough, my breath was easy as usual, my tasting and appetite were okay too.

It's Sunday in the morning, the 2nd day of May, my PCR-swab result was tested positive for Covid-19. I went to the swab center alone by myself. I left by saying I wanted to go ATM center. I was just so afraid I could bring danger to my family if I infect them. Later in the night, my parents took me to RSAU Hardjolukito, they wanted me to take my quarantine there. I met the doctor. After I explained everything, she said I was in good condition. She also said based on my PCR-swab result, the virus was entering the weakened phase. "You might get this virus a week ago, Sist", she said. I was a bit shocked that my everyday routine is the same each week: prep for baking, baking, and deliver. I always follow the health protocol and have never been anywhere crowds or hangouts those past weeks. The doctor said better for me to have self-isolation at home rather on the hospital. After purchasing the medicine, we went back home.

I accepted this as a fate. I tried my best not to cry during my 2weeks of self-isolation. I got a bit of trauma of clogged nose tho. But on day 5 of quarantine, when the PCR-swab result of the family showed Mom tested positive too, I was burst into tears. I really feel useless as a first-born, real burden to my family in my almost 23 years of life. But then I learned that it's way more useless if I feel sad that time, my immune would not work better. I still have to fight this virus. Mom didn't show any symptoms, she was just really okay. She did the isolation at home too, so there were 2 Covid patients. I prayed for health for my dad and my sisters, also a speedy recovery for my mom and me.  We had to fight this together!

Supports from my relatives, neighbors, and friends was amazing. I'm so thankful to have those good people in my life. They sent us loooooooots of foods, they call and message me every day just to check up on me. Although I couldn't celebrate Eid as usual, that's okay as long my family is okay.

My mom and I have done our quarantine. We're okay, Alhamdulillah. Feeling more grateful for everything we have now. I still don't know what to do next to my baking agenda, but well let's see later👀

So to all of you who are reading this, stay happy and healthy! Just wanna say the virus is real and dangerous as well, my mom and I are lucky to have mild symptoms, but someone out of there could be dying. Always wear your masks, follow the health protocol, and don't be stress it's not good for your immune😉

We plan, but Allah is the best planner.

See you in another post, it should be a happy story!💝

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